I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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