ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
