You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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