I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
