Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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