lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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