Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
