Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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