So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
