We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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