you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
