I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
