Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
