i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
