you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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