well I can't set my house on fire every night
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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