I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
