So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
