Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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