I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
