maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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