im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
