she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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