Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
