guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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