3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
