He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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