I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
dude i'm inner monologue high
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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