All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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