Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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