we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Randomize
