I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
