question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
