She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
