return my video game
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
