She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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