do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
