the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
