Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
