Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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