saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
