it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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