i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
