Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
being pregnant is like rehab
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
