Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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