Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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