I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
