Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
smell my finger.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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