she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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