she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
