And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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